Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Good Intentions and Bad Habits

"I'm not going to walk to my appointment tonight. I'm tired. That's it, I'm driving."

"But if I don't walk I'm going to feel crappy later, I'll feel like a dud for skipping my walk and not accomplishing anything."

"Ah, but I'm tired so I'll just relax for an hour and then drive."

"But what will I do? Sit around on the couch for an hour? I should walk."

"But If I'm going to walk I need to leave now and I want to relax for a while."

"Though If I walk I might feel better after. Who am I kidding? I know I'll feel better. I'm just going to change and leave for my walk and stop thinking about it."

Oh those battles. Getting myself out the door for my walk on Tuesday was no easy feat. My good intentions and my bad habits had it out. My good intentions won! I had a similar battle to get myself to swim class this past Monday. At 5pm I was definitely not going. By 5:45 I was in my swimsuit and heading out the door. Making it to that swim class was no small victory. Fortunately it wasn't such a battle getting to swim class tonight. I wore my heart rate monitor again and burned 600 calories in the 1.5 hour class.

You win some, you lose some. That's what they say. And I lost some this week too. On Monday night I waited too long to eat and ended up giving in to a fast food hamburger and two tacos for dinner. Then in our 2 hour staff meeting on Tuesday I had a huge chocolate chip cookie, followed by a slice of lemon pound cake a 1/2 hour later and later, a mini brownie. I can't say I'm proud of these choices. I also didn't get any activity in this past weekend. First time in a long time I've been inactive all weekend. Proves that I need to have plans or I end up with nothing doing.

I realized on Monday that I'm under a lot of stress. The work thing has been stressful. I've never been jobless when I didn't want to be. I also have a family thing that is highly stressful (not pregnancy related at all). And then the pregnancy, diet/nutrition/exercise issue adds a little stress. Generally I think I was in denial about the overall stress level. I don't know if the food choices are related to that or not. Sometimes I think I have just so much fight in me and when times get tough and my fight gets focused on other things I give in to the food. Live and learn.

So the work thing may be resolved. I don't want to jinx it so I'll hold off on making any official announcements but my stress in that area is easing up. More to come.

Oh! I have all my plans for the Marin Triathlon firmed up. I've got a swimmer and a cyclist lined up and I'll be doing the run. I'm very excited!! When I got pregnant I thought that meant the event was out. I am very pleased to still be participating. I plan to do a walk/run combo based on my heart rate. It's 6 miles and I think that's very doable. Still, I plan to sneak Miguel on the run course with me - If I poop out or otherwise need to stop we're going to switch the timing chip and number to him and he'll carry the torch to the finish line. He's my pinch runner!

Well, I need to start thinking about my weekend plans. Don't want to end up doing nothing again. The weather is supposed to be rainy and chilly on Saturday so I'll have to get creative. Haven't been to the gym in months so maybe it'll be our time to get reacquainted.


  1. Take the victories any time they come. I've got my fingers crossed that your job situation works out :)

  2. Take everything a day at a time. You had a ton on your plate right now, but realize you need a plan, and you will formulate one. I understand 100% about the job situation. I have been out of work since mid june because of redundancy. First time ever I have been unemployed and at first I didn't know how to handle it. I knew for one thing that I had to learn to handle it because I was DETERMINED NOT to put any weight back on. can do it for yourself, but you need to also think of your baby and hubby as well. Keep up the good work! Will keep my fingeres crossed about the job situation.

  3. Bring your ipod & a good magazine and hop on the recumbent bike. You can easily pass an hour, it is super-low impact, and you'll feel great afterwards:) That is pretty much all I can do at the moment so I may be preaching to the choir.

    Good for you for getting out for your walk!

  4. YOu know I love your posts Keep up the good work and thanks for being honest

  5. you are capturing all of my same thoughts/issues once again, Michelle. (Except for being pregnant...)

    Food choices; exercise (or not) consequences; etc.

    Always great to know I'm not the only one struggling.

    Hope your work situation unfolds that way you want it to!

  6. Congrats on the victories you have had recently with exercise. HUGE! :-)

  7. Glad to hear you're still arguing with the bad thoughts. You haven't rationalized any of your choices or let one wrong one lead to the next. Good on the eating,too, specially since babykins' bones are now ossifying : )

  8. You're doing great! Keep up the good work. Try not to stress out too much--I'm sure things will work out.

    Congratulations on the good choices. I can totally relate!

  9. Ooo... that would be so fun to be on a team for a triathlon. It would definitely take off a lot of normal pre-tri stress.

    Good luck with all that stuff on your plate!

  10. That's awesome that you're going ahead with the Marin Tri. It's still a great goal to work towards and fun that you have people doing it with you and helping you (or whoever it may be) cross the finish line.

    You go girl!

  11. YAY for you Michelle that your good intentions can still win out!
    Thats a great sign. And you are winning on the scales too! Double yay!
    Triple yay for still going into the tri!

    I've missed reading your updates while I've been without internet and look forward to the next installment

    Take care

  12. it is all one day at a time huh?
    how have so much on your plate that, maybe, the weekend plans (it's here!!) could include some kickassYOU time?
    a massage?
    longbath and a gooood book?
    (ok that last one is what I want, but...)

  13. I am so much the same way...if I don't have a plan, then it's too easy to get "busy" with other things, and not run...yet I ALWAYS feel better when I run.

    You said it..."oh those battles..."

  14. I am so with you on the stress diet and having to "make yourself" do the right thing! You know what you have to do and you know you will do it. Just remember your body is changing and yes your going to be tired but this too will pass soon enough.
    Take care of yourself. I hope everything is ok at work. I will be praying for you Michelle!!

  15. Hey! Thanks for commenting on my blog... it was a few months back, but I just read it again... so sweet. :) I just put a new post up and I am very excited to be losing weight! I have started running again. Of course, it's baby steps... I just do little intervals of running on my walks. But, it feels great. How long did it take you to get to "tri ready?" My bf did his first tri this summer and told me I should try to do it next August. I don't know if that's possible! I can't even run a 5k right now... is there any way I could be ready for a tri in August of 2009? It's a 500 yard swim, 15 mile bike, and 3 mile run...

    Actually, anybody reading can swing by my page and throw me their 2 cents. I'd appreciate it!


  16. AWESOME!! Thanks so much for all the advice! I will check out that site this week and get started! I have a little mixture of fear and excitement inside of me.

    I noticed that there is a time limit for each part of the tri and they all seem very attainable. So, even if I did have to do a run/walk, like you mentioned, it could still be done! How exciting!

    Thanks again!!

  17. Ah, the planning. Yes, I hear you on that. I do well when I plan. And I love that you are still going to get to run on a relay team! Woot!!

  18. Hi lovely lady. I have no idea how I missed this post....I hope you're enjoying your vacation and when you get back you've been TAGGED.

    I miss you so much...come back soon.

    xox From NY


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