Friday, May 29, 2009

When You Find Yourself in a Hole, Stop Digging.

The good news: Last week I did not gain 3 pounds as I expected. I only gained 2. I suppose that's a stretch for "good" news, but I'll take it where I can get it.

The bad news: I gained .2 pounds this week.

Maybe I should flip those. The bad news being I gained 2 pounds last week and the good news being I only gained .2 this week. I guess it's all about perspective. But I have more good news. I've made it to the gym a few times in the past two weeks. Again, could appear to be bad news but, for me, the way things have been going, every trip to the gym is a small victory. Also, I rode my road bike for the first time on Memorial Day. I wish I could say it was great fun but it wasn't. It was chilly, the wind was blowing in my face the whole time, it was hard, and I was alone. Next time I have to figure out a way to ride with someone else. I planned to ride up to Stafford Lake (about 7 miles) to meet Miguel for a picni. Instead I made it a little over 5 miles and asked him to pick me up when he passed, before I hit any of the hills. Ah well, at least I got my butt on the seat for a little bit.

I'm also battling a large appetite right now. I've been eating too much and now my body expects it. So I'm dealing with hunger, which isn't fun. I'm upping my protein, especially in my snacking, going for the Fage yogurt, oatmeal with a scoop of protein powder in it (an old BFL trick), cottage cheese. All things with high protein to keep me full. Nothing like hunger to make me feel I'm "entitled" to eat something. But I know my hunger cues are out of whack and I need to get them back to a more normal state.

My mood has been so-so. I am a broken record on this but working out just makes all the difference. When I don't exercise my mood tanks, and then I really don't want to work out and the cycle continues. Anyway, I think my motivation is on an upswing, and lord knows I need it. A good thing is I've eaten all the red light foods in the house and vowed not to purchase any more. I can't even purchase any yellow light foods because with my currently limited self control yellow light foods are essentially red light foods. Basically I can't purchase anything that is even remotely like a treat, which stinks, but it's what I have to do until I get things under better control. The tricky thing about being a food junkie is you can't banish it from your life.

One more thing is I'm not liking my current WW meeting. It goes past 30 minutes, which I don't like, the leader doesn't always start on time to boot, and she's very, I don't know, it feels like she's talking to us like we're children. She makes great points and has a lot to offer content-wise, but the delivery isn't doing it for me. We'll see, maybe I'll try a different one next week. Bottom line though, I go to a meeting every week, like it or not.

Baby update: Marek continues to do well. He's growing perfectly, which is always a relief. He's 11 weeks already! I think I'm still having milk supply issues but I've started taking Fenugreek to address it. It could be him though too, I don't know if this pulling and crying at the breast is due to not enough milk or him not wanting to "work" for it anymore. I'm starting to wonder if when the milk flow is no longer gushing out he starts with the pulling, latching off, crying, latching on, pulling, etc. Anyway, I will carry on. I will make it to my three month breastfeeding goal, and then we'll see. That's all for today. Please humor me in looking at a few pics of my baby :)


  1. I always found that the most difficult part of post-pregnancy fitness (mom of three here) is the lack of a consistent schedule. Bay's needs are constantly changing, and for those of us who have a hard time switching things up...well, let's just say that the least pleasant tasks go out the window first. Oh, and there's fatigue from nursing and night feedings and lack of consistent alone time.

    I actually found it easier with subsequent kids...they distract each other so mom can do her thing, lol.

    You're doing great. This is a special, unique time. Keep chipping away at it, enjoy the baby and your husband. Life is good :-)

  2. Hey Michelle,

    Great to hear from you and see your beautiful baby boy.

    I am still feeding Lucy (17 months) and had very similar fussing at the breast problems. I was jus thinking the other day how I wish I could talk to myself then and say..."YOu're fine, you're supply is fine, just relax, take your fenugreek because it obviously helps, and enjoy the sepcial time together"

    I think most of it was just a baby doing a baby thing issue and partly my worry about my inadequacy. even now I notice a huge rush of milk when I remind myself to relax my shoulders. Also find a position that helps you relax, I found laying down the best if she got really fussy.

    I totally understand on the exercise front too! Celebrate small victories! You are doing a stellar job!

  3. My head is exploding with the cuteness.

    i woke up thinking about you this morning - balancing having enough for nursing and losing weight. do what you need to do for marek for now...and have fun doing what you do for you, 'kay? Oh! and cut the

  4. I know how you feel - sometimes I whine about a slight gain like .2 or .4 but in reality, thats nothing to worry about and isnt so much a gain as it could just be what you are wearing, what you ate that day or the night before, if you just went to the bathroom,etc. it has taken me a while, but Ive learned to not worry so much about those little gains and just use them to keep myself in check. the larger gains are nothing to freak over either, but save the stress for them instead of the small gains.

    and if your meeting doesnt quite "fit", then I would find another. if you arent really enjoying yourself when you go there, then it will be hard for the meeting to really work for you. find something thats right and everything will fall into place.

  5. It is always difficult after having a baby to find some consistency in getting exercise and eating right. It is doable though. You just have to make time for yourself. I know it is hard though.

    As with gains, I had a huge gain this week, but it all about perspective. You just gotta keep going to the meetings and doing your best with the program. You can do it!

  6. This is one of the most challenging things about being a new mom - balancing time for 'you' (ie gym time), and trying to lose weight, especially while nursing.

    The scale is going to frustrate you for awhile. It can take close to a year for hormones to 'settle' - (and do they ever really? ha ha). Use the scale as a general guide, but take your measurements too. And most importantly, you know that exercise is good for you and we always feel 'good' afterwards - so just keep on keeping on, even when you think you are not making progress.

    TAKE the time for yourself when you can - I did not and I know now that I should/could have. You are already on your way...just keep at it and have fun with it. Enjoy your precious little boy. He is too sweet for words!

  7. Uhhhh, no need to 'humor you'. If you didn't post pictures I'd be upset!

    Your statement about being a food junkie and always having to confront your food is the absolute worst thing. I think winning this battle is probably more difficult than any other addiction because we are confronted with food each and every day. And not only confronted with it, but we HAVE to eat.

  8. I take an Internet break for a month, and Marek grows into a baby from a newborn! He looks so're doing a fantastic job. You look great and happy too.

    Relax - easier said than done, I know - and enjoy. The weight loss will come with time. You know what to do and how to do it, but it will roll differently now that you are a Mama. Keep up the good work!

  9. Hang in there Michelle. I can relate to the struggle and I have no exciting baby-stress to deal with.

    We'll get back to fighting weight....

  10. just wondering how things are going for you... after baby is sooooo hard... be patient with yourself...

    the baby is precious! :)

  11. baby is gorgeous and looks very loved and happy. nothing like a content baby!! that is why the crying (ESP at feeding time) is so hard!!! i just recently dealt with the same thing and it turned out themilk was coming out TOO fast for him. what makes you think its supply issues? you should see a lactation person about it before trying to deal with it incase upping the supply could be making theproblem worse. do you pump at all? doing that can give you a clue about how fast the flow is. my girl, apparently, altho a hungry big eater, doesnt like the faster flow on my left side ...most of the time. sometimes she eats fine altho last week she went through a period of several days of crying, pulling was SOOOO hard :( she has done the same thing the past two evenings. but ate fine all day? So i have no idea.

    that sense of entitlement? OMG its gonna be the end of me. i am hungry and i am tired and so....i end up feeling i can eat those cookies in the evening, or the icecream...or that snacking on a scone here or there is okay. baaaaaaaaaad! im BREASTFEEDING afterall, right? that is the hunger! blah! GL lady and keep rocking! give baby a kiss from me! :)

  12. Cute pictures! I rode my road bike for the first time last week and it was wonderful, though it did start raining on me. If you are feeling the hunger, along with the protein, try to eat a ton of fiber, that really helps!

    Boda Weight Loss Blog


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