Monday, June 4, 2012

Two Posts in One Day? (that's never a good sign)

Two posts in one day, what's going on here?  I'll tell you, I had a horrible food day today and I need to get it off my chest.  Horrible.  I should start by saying I was in a grumpy mood all morning, a bit of a headache and still crampy and, well, it's Monday.  My plan for lunch fell apart and I decided to go to Taco Bell and get two fresco chicken soft tacos.  At 4 points each they are not a bad choice for fast food.  Except I didn't get that.  Instead I got one regular taco with sour cream and one fresco chicken soft taco.  According to WW the regular taco was only 4 points too (+1 for the sour cream).  Not sure I get that but whatever.  But I didn't know that at the time and the taco bell made my bad mood better for a moment, then worse. 

I got back to my office and the girl scout cookies that have been sitting in my office for months suddenly started tempting me.  I opened up a box and ate an entire roll of peanut butter cookies.  Turns out that's about 9 cookies, 14 points in all.  My mood was in the tank.  I ate a ton of food over the weekend, my weight is up by a gazillion pounds (I know I'm being totally irrational) and I'm eating crap. 

I was in the midst of talking myself out of going to the gym when I gave myself a stern, "Snap out of it!" and left for the gym, albeit late.  I got on the treadmill and ran for 15 minutes (that's all I had time for) and then started into legs/shoulders/core for strength training.  I was doing shoulder raises in front of the mirror when I had a moment, "Why do you doubt yourself?".  I'd been doing a lot of negative self talk all day and really questioning my ability to reach my goals.  Then, at the gym, seeing my shoulder muscles move to lift the weights, I was feeling a bit stronger, a bit more capable but also disappointed with how quickly I sold myself down the river.  I hope that by continuing to do the work I'm doing with the Beck book and by growing and learning through this blog, I hope these wild fluctuations go away altogether one day. 

So by the time I was done with my weights I had a few minutes left so I decided to get back on the treadmill.  I did another 5 minutes and got up to 6.5mph toward the end.  In the end I only missed 5 minutes of my run and I didn't get to stretch.  Just realized I never did stretch like I planned to do when I got home.  Anyway, on my way out of the gym I saw a fellow gym-goer that I sometimes chat with.  I told her I felt like crap after eating a bunch of cookies.  She tells me she ate a pint of ice cream before coming to the gym!  This woman is one of the fittest women at the gym, her body is amazing.  I'm actually hoping to interview her soon for the blog.  We only chatted for a moment but it was just what I needed.  A reminder that life happens, that I am human like the rest of us, and that it's ok.

Whew, I'm done.  I went to bed way too late last night, probably part of my grumpy mood today, and I don't want to make that same mistake again so I'm off to bed.  Thanks for listening. 


  1. Healthy slim people eat rubbish sometimes,
    They sometimes have festive weekends, they sometimes don't exercise... they just don't decide that that one weekend is the end of being healthy! And get back to their normal lives. Here's to being two such healthy people Michelle! You have been and continue to be such an inspiration to me!

  2. I loved this post! So many of us let the negative self talk get to us. Even giggled at the "sold myself down the river" part--oh, how real this is! You did the right, healthy thing. For those of us who struggle, I believe that is the key--pushing through the negative talk and putting whatever it was behind us. Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. Needed this today. I've been "selling myself down the river for months" and beating myself for the choices I made all weekend and today. I hope one day soon I can find the commitment you have. Way to go!

  4. I have been following your blog for some time now. Today's posting made me think this is what I should be doing. I am starting a blog.

    Your are my inspiration!!!



  5. The title could be "what it's like to be a woman" :) I mean with not just our up and down hormones to contend with but our negative self-talk, it's no wonder our tastebuds sometimes get treated a little toooo well!! Love that you were able to get to the gym - and then recognise what your "inner self" had talked you into. I hope today is a great one!

  6. Oh Michelle - I feel for you, girl. I HATE those days when I can't seem to exorcise the the negative voices in my head or the uncontrollable urge to eat JUNK! Knowing that it's going to leave me feeling like crap doesn't stop me funneling it right into my face.

    You have what it takes to beat that little demon down!! You lost a battle today; you won't lose the war.

    Hope you get a great night's sleep. Hang in there and keep us posted.

  7. This is certainly real life. We all have those moments of weakness. I'm a stress eater, so it doesn't take much to get me going down the wrong path for the day. But, you still went to the gym and worked out! Kudos to you!

  8. At least you recognized the negative talk and kicked it's butt. Good for you for going to the gym even though you didn't want to.

  9. You went to the gym anyway...Yeah for you! A few bad choices, but you recognized it and owned it. Tomorrow will bring something better.


If you don't want to login, use the Name/URL option (just type in your name...or any name for that matter). If you use the "Anonymous" option your comment won't get posted. - Michelle