Everything is wonderful and life is perfect now that I'm thin.
Wouldn't that be nice? Just doesn't work that way. Your comments on yesterday's post gave me a lot to consider. I think I need to just accept that these binges will happen from time to time and get over it. And that would be fine except I end up feeling so crappy. Maybe if I just accepted them I could skip the crappy part. Anyway, enough of that, I refuse to write another downer post.
Today was better. I had my normal Kashi GoLean breakfast, a nice snack, and a healthy lunch. I attended a meeting in the afternoon and there was cake. I can't turn down cake. I might have even had two slices. Ah well, no judgments today. I'll just keep an eye on myself with all this eating and see how it goes. Ya know, this is the first time in my journey that I've faced a really stressful time. It was stressful to transition to motherhood, and then to two children, but I wasn't trying to eat a healthy diet or maintain a workout routine then. Anyway, I need to take my own advice, be gentle with myself, and positively reinforce all the things I do right.
On that note, I went to the gym after work and rode the upright bike for 25 minutes. My legs are still recovering. Next time I run a half-marathon I mustn't get sick the week before and I'll also get back to the weight-lifting routine asap. I hate losing strength and having to rebuild. A little soreness is fun but this is dragging on too long for my liking. The soreness didn't slow me down any though, which is good. After the bike I did back/biceps/core for strength training. I'm back down to three pullups, but I'm sure it won't take long before I'm back up to four.
What's really hurting are my abs. I was doing some ball exchanges (like with the Swiss ball but I use a 6# medicine ball instead) and my lower abs felt like they were stinging. Ok, that's it. There's a difference between soreness and pain and my abs clearly need some rest. I turned the page in my workout log and where I normally note my ab workout I made a big note, "NO ABS TODAY." Hopefully that will force my rigid self to give it a rest on Thursday (my next workout).
I came home and made hamburgers, well, turkey/bacon/avocado burgers, for dinner. That with sweet potato fries and green beans to round things out. I've been doing some unnecessary snacking since dinner but like I said, I'm going to go easy on myself, see how things develop. I'm reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. If you want to avoid a pity party, read a book chronicling a concentration camp experience. Seriously, it's a wake up call. But the bigger message is Frankl's belief that it is the meaning we find in our lives, our purpose for living, that defines and drives us.
What is the meaning of my life? What is my purpose for living? Those are big questions. Asking them has a way of re-framing things. Good stuff. I'm still not done with Born to Run but I'll get back to it soon enough. Frankl's book has been on my list forever and I think now is just the right time to be reading it.
One last thing...the Emerald Across the Bay 12k is only about 5 weeks away. I'm tempted to not "train" for it at all, it's only around 7.5 miles. But I figure I'd better do a few short long runs (does that make any sense?) between now and then. So if I start running 5 miles on the weekends and then go up to 6 and then 7 in the two weeks before I should be good. Oh boy, those distances sound lovely. I think I'm just going to view this race as a lovely jaunt. No time goals, no pressure, just run for the pure enjoyment of it. Sounds good doesn't it? We'll see if I can actually do it.