Focus on the positive - I had a healthy snack. And dinner - a slice (plus a few bites off the kids' plates) of homemade turkey meatloaf, a half-cup of packaged chicken flavored rice and steamed cauliflower - wasn't bad. I made banana bread today and had just a couple bites of that after dinner. And I drank more water than I've been drinking lately, which isn't saying much but still, it's an improvement. Oh, one final positive - there's still that bag of Ghiradelli chocolate in the garage. Haven't touched 'em. I think I'll take them to the office tomorrow, share the chocolate love.
The kids were going nuts for the banana bread, the thought of two teenagers kind of scares me. I'd bet a teenage boy could eat a whole loaf of banana bread himself based on what my 4.5 year old is eating these days. I do my best to limit the junk - banana bread being somewhere between healthy (at least it's homemade and it does have bananas, plus I sub half the flour with whole wheat flour) and pure crap - but they indulge enough that I doubt they'll feel an urge to hide candy in their rooms (like I did as a kid).
Anyway, so when Miguel relieved me of mommy duty I got my butt to the gym. It was late and I felt a tinge of avoidance energy, but I chose to ignore that knowing I need to build up some momentum here. The kids didn't want me to leave, "Don't go mommy, stay home", which is always a heartbreaker (don't get me started on that topic), but that wasn't an option in any case and I hit the road to the gym. My gym, by the way, is only 5 minutes from my house. I highly recommend finding a gym either close to home or close to work, ideally both. Not having a drive as an added deterrent is good. Ok, I just made a note to write a "how to choose a gym" post soon so I'll stop here on that one (that post will be for you too Shawna!).
Ok, back to my workout. I got on the bike and decided to do the full 25 minutes I normally do but drop the level down to 7 (I was doing 9). It went great! And about 5 minutes into it I started chatting with a fellow gym regular, he's a former Army Ranger and a triathlete and all-around fitness nut so I learn a lot whenever I talk to him. Made the bike ride go by quick.
After the bike I decided I wanted to dive back in and do one of my normal weight training routines. I randomly decided to start with back/biceps/core. I did everything in my routine except the assisted pullups. Truth be told I hate those friggin' things so it was an easy decision. I figured it was best not to push my body too hard right out of the gate. Plus my lower back has been achy.
I can't tell you how good it felt to be doing my thing! And having all the time in the world was so nice. I'm normally flying around in a post-work/pre-kid-pickup time crunch but not tonight. I lingered, I chatted, I breathed in the gym air. What I normally do in an hour took an hour and 15 minutes. Man have I missed that place. I love my gym. I don't know why I've stayed away so long. Wait, I know why, I was sick. And in a bit of a slump. But I'm coming out of it! Sing it with me...
Ok, you don't have to sing but how can you not? And check out her body?! It's amazing. This was in 1983, when I was 12 years old. A fine year for me, actually. Love that energy! Speaking of bodies, I was checking mine out post workout, it's not bad. I've been feeling mushy, fat and just big lately - mostly psychological I know, but I tell ya, I still look pretty good. Got a bit more in the midsection than I did at the beginning of the year but that's ok, I know what to do about that. And I'm doin' it.
I sure hope this uptick in energy, optimism, motivation and self love sticks. I'm due for a nice long bout of feel good! A quick thank you for all the support in the form of comments here, on my FB page, in person, email, etc - all of you commiserating, reminding me that it'll get better/not all is lost, cheering me on or being down in the dumps with me - thank you!!