This post could easily be a paragraphs long diatribe about all that I think is wrong about what I'm doing these days. It's wrong that I'm following some time-limited challenge, it's wrong that I'm eliminating certain foods from my "diet", it's wrong, all wrong. Why haven't you stood up and screamed at me? "Michelle, what the hell are you doing?!"
Well, truth be told, some of you have. And I know the rest just wish me well. And then there's this:
This is day 3 for me . Day 2 my husband brought my son a birthday cake it . Yes a birthday cake who does that . Day 3 came along and I did a detox water. It happens but you can do it . I have just started I have 150 pounds to lose . I hope to one day lose it .A comment left on yesterday's post. And it got me to thinking...What the hell am I doing? Is this what I'm inspiring? Am I on a diet? Holy cow, Am I on a diet?!! Somebody tell me the truth, I can handle it.
Ok then, you have an idea of where my head is. I don't actually think I'm on a diet. Can I call it a phase? An experiment? Diets are done to lose weight. I'm not doing this to lose weight. Ok, I had that idea in the beginning, but I quickly saw the error of my ways and dropped that as a reason for doing this. To go back to my purpose, it was twofold.
- To check out the gluten free thing
- To break some of the "bad" habits that had crept back into my world
There is, though, such a thing as being off-the-wagon (for me anyway), which is when I'm not paying any attention to my food or exercise stuffs. But that's a different animal, and nowhere near the case now.
As far as food today...
Breakie: Oatmeal with brown sugar and maple syrup
Snack: 3 rice cakes, one with a cheese wedge spread on it
Lunch: Chipotle salad bowl with grilled chicken, black beans, salsa, guacamole
Snack: Trail mix (more than a serving, to keep it real)
Dinner: Steak salad with oil/vinegar dressing, sauteed zucchini and onion, bread, butter, olive oil
Oh, and exercise. The day got away from me. Or I got away from it. Either way I ended up with only about 20 minutes at the gym. I almost bailed altogether but Laura and Cori inspired me today. If you talk the talk, then walk that walk! So I hit the gym for a solid 20 minutes on the treadmill. I wished I had more time because I was feeling groovy.
Ok, back to my non-diet challenge. What's the point of all this introspection? I'll tell ya. Take what works, leave the rest. What's working is no caffeine, no alcohol, focus on whole foods, avoid the crap. What's working is what's always worked. Oh, and logging my food has helped. The question is, do I continue counting days? If I'm saying ok to dairy, ok to gluten, ok to most anything and everything I want in moderation (save caffeine and alcohol), well, doesn't that look mostly like what I've always done? Should I keep counting the days? Or should I call the whole thing off, acknowledge the dissonance, and move on?