Oh no, no, nooooo. I think I'll separate thoughts in this comment and respond to them one-by-one.
- Why does it have to be so hard ALL the time?...this is going to be a daily battle for the rest of my life.
Not true! It's not hard all the time. It's true there are hard days, sometimes hard weeks, but it's just not true that it's hard every day, for the rest of your life. If I believed it would forever be as hard as it is right now I'd probably give up. I would not choose to endure this kind of tension if it were daily and forever. But I know this will pass, it will get easier again, it does, every time.
- not fair, not fair :(
Maybe it's true that it's not fair. But everyone has unfairness in their lives, at least mine is something I can do something about. Plus, either way it’s unfair. Either I face unfairness by limiting your eating, or I face all the unfairnesses and hardships that come with being overweight. Besides, it’s a common misconception that other people can eat whatever they want, they’re limiting themselves, too.
seems to be a different animal.
Yes and no. Maintenance is different in that you're not trying to get to a specific goal, and I think it's mostly easier than it used to be because I have more skills, habits, etc now. I know when I'm in a down place it sounds super hard but if I really think about it, I know it's easier, that I have way more tools and insights than I used to have. So yes, different, but also the same. The same in that I have to keep paying attention, I have to remember how important this is to me, how much it matters to me. I have to be careful of thinking I'm cured and can move on to other things.
- what an effing struggle this all is.
I would add to the end of that sentence, at times. This goes back to #1. It's not an effing struggle every moment of every day. And I wouldn't even say it was an effing struggle on average. Most of the time it's great. And even when it's not great, it beats the alternative of not struggling at all. In fact that's the true struggle, being overweight and not taking action to do anything about it. That's when I felt truly hopeless. It's a struggle, at times, and a struggle that I happily take on. When I sat on the couch eating donuts I thought that was easier but I now know it was WAY harder to live like that. Down with "easy"! Bring on the struggle!
thanks Michele for being so "real" we all need to hear to truth.
You're welcome. And I also hope you're reading my happy, alive, dancing in the sunshine posts and saying to yourself, "Look! It can be easy and fun and joyous." Because that's part of the "real" truth too.
are on the other side now.
I can see how it looks that way but really, there is no other side. There is here and here is there. I am where I am, haven't moved really, took me with me. Maybe this is too zen mindfulness whatever. And I guess I am on the other side if the other side means I've realized that this is worth it, that I want to work for it, that I have what I need to get here, I've always had it. There was never anything wrong with Michelle that could not be fixed by what is right with Michelle.
- Find a plan and routine to keep you
there...oh and then tell us how to do it?
I have! It's called never giving up. It's called paying attention. It's called mixing up my approach depending on how I'm feeling. There's no one plan, no one routine. Last month I could keep tortilla chips in my house no problem, today? Nope. The how to do it changes over time, and then goes back, and then changes again. So the biggest thing I've found is taking charge of my thoughts, my behaviors. I will not deny my desire for a fit, healthy body. And I will use that desire to drive my thoughts and behavior.