Friday, January 15, 2016

I Love why do I avoid it?

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I'm buzzing through the week here. Well, not really. It's been a long week due to Marek having a mystery body ache illness that kept him home from school for two days. He wanted to stay home again today but I insisted he go. I'll take him to the doctor this afternoon. So I'm feeling out of the loop at work and need to catch up before the holiday weekend is upon me.

As far as this week in food and's been a mixed bag. I went for a run and to the gym this week, though only once. I would like to get back to a routine of going three times a week. But for now, once feels like a victory. On Wednesday I ran after work, doing a 4.5 mile loop from my gym. I ran the way I've been running lately, by feel. It had rained briefly earlier in the day but stayed dry while I was out there. I managed to procrastinate long enough for it to be dark, so I had to watch my steps to be sure I didn't trip.

As I was driving to the gym I found myself thinking more procrastination type thoughts, and thoughts that suggested I didn't want to go to the gym or for a run. I caught myself and challenged those thoughts, "You enjoy running, last time you were running you thought about how great it felt, why are you acting like you don't want to do it?" Isn't this the riddle of all time? Exercise feels good, we feel better after doing it, and yet, our brain (at least my brain), still tries to get me to avoid it. I don't get it.

So I focused on the good, positive feeling I have while running, "I am running! I am a rock star! I love this so much, thank goodness I can run." Seriously, those are the types of thoughts I have while running. Not every moment of the run, and almost never while running uphill, but a lot nonetheless. So I used those positive memories to align my resistant brain with the part of my brain that was "making me" go, and the whole thing suddenly felt easier.

I decided to run outside, despite it being chilly and quickly getting dark. I did a loop from my gym that includes a small hill. I felt great. I really do like running. Afterward I sat down with my gym log and made a plan. I'll start doing my old gym routines of legs/shoulders, back/biceps, chest/triceps - mixed with running and the upright bike and core work. I'm aiming to get to three days a week (plus a weekend outing).

So I started with legs/shoulders, doing all the same exercises I normally do but with less or no weights depending on the exercise. I felt pretty good, stiff, definitely nowhere near as strong as I used to be, but good enough overall. I've been sore since then, especially today, but I'm glad I started back. I have to start somewhere.

My eating is still not where I'd like it to be. I ate four little rice pudding cups last night. It could have been worse, I was in the grocery store yesterday and had a package of Chips Ahoy in my hand when I stopped myself, "What are you doing? If you bring these home you'll eat a ton of them and feel sick and so disappointed, why do that?". I put them down and checked out. Whew.

Ok, well, I gotta go. I was hoping to go to the gym again today but now I'm taking Marek to the doctor right after work. At least I have a sitter lined up for Sunday, so my long run will happen. It will likely be in the rain though. It's ok, I can handle it, running in the rain can be fun. And besides, I love running.


  1. I do the same thing. I procrastinate for no reason. I love running so much so I don't know why sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get me out the door, especially when I KNOW I'll be beyond happy once I hit "start" on my GPS

  2. Kudos to you for getting in some exercise AND for putting back the chips ahoy!

  3. I have to keep reminding myself that I have never once regretted going for a run afterwards but I always regret NOT having gone when I make that choice.

  4. THANK you for writing this! I often have the same struggle you described... Even down to the Chips Ahoy. I was doubting whether I wanted to go to the gym today, but I think I'll go. As you said, it always makes me feel good and It is certainly a positive use of my time!

  5. Kudos to you!!! One of the things that helps me is a sort of "reverse engineering" process. When I don't "feel like it", I think about how I always feel afterward and/or why I started going to the gym in the first place. Then I ask myself "don't you want to feel like that again today?" That works about 95% of the time.


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